Two and a Half Men
Two adults. One kid. No grown-ups.
A hedonistic jingle writer's free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
tv Seasons & Episodes
Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal
Carefree jingle writer Charlie Harper has his lifestyle altered when his uptight brother and his 10-year-old nephew move in with him.
Sep 22, 2003
Big Flappy Bastards
Despite warnings from Charlie, Jake continues to feed seagulls on the deck and the birds invade the house. Meanwhile, Charlie thinks Judith is taking advantage of Alan, who keeps going to her house to fix things.
Sep 29, 2003
Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Jake wants to go home to his mom after he gets sick, prompting Alan to think he's a failure as a husband and now as a father.
Oct 6, 2003
If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Charlie can't function when his housekeeper storms off because of Alan's constant complaints, so Alan tries desperately to woo her back. Meanwhile, Rose comes to Charlie for dating advice.
Oct 13, 2003
The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up with a Hump
Alan and Charlie have encounters with some highly libidinous soccer moms, but with two very different outcomes.
Oct 20, 2003
Did You Check with the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
The guys go to Evelyn's house to meet the new man she's dating, and Charlie realizes the man's daughter is a woman he's trying to avoid.
Oct 27, 2003
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Judith is upset with Alan and Charlie when she learns that a surfer who uses Charlie's shower walks around half naked in front of Jake . Then Alan's worried when Judith and the surfer become friends.
Nov 3, 2003
Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-Ful
Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show.
Nov 10, 2003
Phase One, Complete
Charlie is convinced that a woman who spent the night with him wants to turn their relationship into something serious after she befriends Jake and Evelyn.
Nov 17, 2003
Merry Thanksgiving
Realizing he's losing someone special, Charlie plans a Thanksgiving dinner to convince her he's a family guy and that she should be with him.
Nov 24, 2003
Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
When Alan is surprised to see that Judith has had a makeover and is dating a man, he decides to have Charlie help him transform his image.
Dec 15, 2003
Camel Filters and Pheromones
Berta's granddaughter spends the day at Charlie's, which isn't a problem until he learns she's a beautiful, rebellious 16-year-old.
Jan 5, 2004
Sarah Like Puny Alan
Charlie nurses an ailing Alan back to health so they can go on a double date with two sisters, one of whom Charlie's been wanting to date for a long time.
Jan 12, 2004
I Can't Afford Hyenas
Charlie's financial manager informs the carefree jingle writer that he spends money faster than his royalty checks come in, and now he must go on a budget.
Feb 2, 2004
Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Charlie invites a mysterious, slightly crazed woman to stay at the house until she can settle some family problems.
Feb 9, 2004
That Was Saliva, Alan
Charlie is perplexed when Frankie, the mysterious woman temporarily living in the Harper household, begins falling for Alan and not him.
Feb 16, 2004
Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Charlie's still brooding over Alan's choice of their cousin as Jake's guardian if both parents die when the boy has an accident while in his care and has to be rushed to the hospital.
Feb 23, 2004
An Old Flame with a New Wick
Charlie is stunned to learn his ex-girlfriend is now a man.
Mar 1, 2004
I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Judith's devious siren sister stirs things up at Jake's 11th birthday party when she hits on Alan. Meanwhile, Evelyn brings alcohol and has a party of her own.
Mar 22, 2004
Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Jake's sullen mood baffles and bothers the family and prompts Alan and Judith to take him to a child psychologist.
Apr 19, 2004
No Sniffing, No Wowing
Charlie plays a tricky game when he gets involved with Alan's divorce lawyer, who could make things difficult for Alan if she were, say, dumped by a self-centered lothario.
May 3, 2004
My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
When Charlie discovers that Alan is sleepwalking, he believes it's related to his brother's lack of sex following his divorce, and comes up with a cure.
May 10, 2004
Just Like Buffalo
When Jake repeats one of Charlie's sexist remarks in front of Judith's support group, the women convince Judith to stop Jake's visits with his dad and Charlie.
May 17, 2004
Can You Feel My Finger?
Charlie has a pregnancy scare involving one of his one-night stands and decides to go for the big "V," and we're not talking Vegas.
May 24, 2004
people Cast
Ashton Kutcher
Walden Schmidt
Jon Cryer
Alan Harper
Conchata Ferrell
Berta
apartment Production Companies
Warner Bros. Television
Chuck Lorre Productions